At this cold and lonely night, my heart sour into the wind that blow gently on my face
A few people ask whether am i attach a not. And i just kept quiet and do not want to answer their question. Most people will think that yea i am not attach. Yah... Cannot be lar.. ypu this kind of size how to be attach. Well. The world is so unfair. When you take a walk down orchard road, you will see very pretty girl with good bodies hanky panky with a super plum X 2 woei luen size guy. And most of the guy walk by will shout things like " Unfair ah... Cannot be ah... Heaven is blind ah"
Girls maybe also. Look at a very dashing and handsome looking guy with a girl ugliest of the century. And they will have the same response. SO why is it woeiluen with all right looking , just a little plump, fanicial wise stable only, good temper, good to talk with and a good listener, why has he not girlfriend up to now. Is not that he cannot find. But is his type of girls is hard to find and yeah they are usually taken. But not that people dun want him. There is but... just feeling not right
ANother main reason is he is devestated about it already. When you are sad t0 the ultimate, you can't even drop a tear becuase it is already dry. He had not being crying for months, and years.
Looking at her picture in friendster by some of the picture she took with her friends. I saw one of recent picture also. She had braces on. Still as pretty. She look well and happy. Its good to see her doing fine because she had been disappearing from my world for 1 year. What school she is now. Where she stay. Whats her mobile number. Her email. All these seems to become unknown.
Perhaps i do understand relationship at that young age. Who say secondary school student dun understand what is the relationship adult is talking about. perhaps i mature faster. 3 years of unaffection waiting. plus another 3 years keeping right in my heart. Deep down inside it. All i ask for is her peace, her happiness and her well being. And nothing else. I will suffer the tumoil and pain on my own.
Up to now i she is still in my heart kept sercured. Not leaving. And will always stay inside. She just surface back to my heart just today when i felt so much agony. I can't really describe the feeling but i feel so much like telling someone else. But there is not one to talk to. No one will understand. 5 YEARS. The saddest feeling is not shown when people cry. It is you heart feel so much like crying but there is just not tears. Its unbearingly painful and saddening.
I tried to find some other people with her lock in my heart. When that person was about the replace her position, that person left and that person left without bring her away from the heart prison of mine.
Just a lonely night that rake up all my sad past. You think a happy go lucky person is always happy go lucky ? He or she must be feel something worst than the problem he or she is facing now so he or she can be like that, happy go lucky. That applies to me.
HEr birthday is coming and is exactly the same date is ZHU's birthday. PAst year. I would save up lots of money just to buy her something good for her present. This year, i will saving money just to pay for the things to buy. But i will still wish her. Just that i don't know whether she will get the wish a not.
Lord Of AGONY - Feed me with all the agony and i shall carry it for you
posted at [10:00 AM]
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This blog things
Seen this things in a few blogs and decided i should try it also
You Communicate With Your Ears |
You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod. |
True.. Very True
Your Values Profile |
Loyalty:
You value loyalty a fair amount. You're loyal to your friends... to a point. But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties. Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.
Honesty:
You value honesty a fair amount. You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it. If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it. In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity."
Generosity:
You value generosity highly. So much so that you often put your own needs last. There's nothing wrong with having a caring heart... But you may want to rethink your "open wallet" policy.
Humility:
You value humility a fair amount. You tend to be an easy going, humble person. But occasionally your ego takes over. You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best.
Tolerance:
You value tolerance highly. Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you... You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends. You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them. |
Very True too...
How You Are In Love |
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You tend to give more than take in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
Very True Also... Buay Tahan
You Have a Melancholic Temperament
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Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.
Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.
At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.
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something about me :x
posted at [8:08 AM]
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