Randoming
Well I guess after a few stressful period, finally I can take a slight break. A short one. 1 or 2 days. But after that I will have to chiong and PIA again. Actually somehow or rather I am very disappointed in somone whom I think has the same thinking as me. He is just losing it. No more on the ball. And he is going to being categorize as fuktup. Just hope he just wake up someday.
Today presentation was quite well done as told by our tutor. But we have so much content that we have to skip most of the content. I must say my class is really very very very very competitive. Last time with this kind of standard we can get A, But now with this kind of standard we merely just pass. In order to stay competitive, our group must produce high standard work which is killing all of us. I can't understand why other groups want to do so much things. They got nothing better to do meh ? Our of the lecturer actually told us that our class is perhaps one of the best class in Ngee Ann from the pass to now. Its not that I am boasting or what. But really once you step into the class you will see a lot of typical singaporean: Kiasu, Kiasi. You will feel the enviornment is different. Once teacher say work, we get down to work. But before we even start others groups had already finish. This is our scarey my class is. And the stuff they product are of quality. None of them is giving you crap. All is trying to present as much content as possible.
Even when we are talking we are smiling at each other, actually behind the back and inside our heart we are thinking of how to win the other team. My group is the most innocent group. We treat everyone as our friends but they not friendly. They are very focus on their work. But okie lar. This will look like a real business world where competition is everywhere. Competition will make us upgrade ourselves more to meet with the competition.
Coffee can numb your nerve but not lonliness
posted at [10:02 AM]
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Something that will change my life
I thought this kind of things will not happen on me. I thought I live very peacefully. I thought I will go on smoothly in my life, marry a wife and have 3 kids then until i grow old and happily after and I go on to my eternal life.
But something shocking has happen. Its regarding a life. I don't know what will happen. Maybe I will not stay in the condo that we all are hoping for. Maybe I will not enjoy life like what I am now. What if that thing really happen. My family will collapse.
Today I was in school. To everyone is a normal day. But for me, its like a day which I never wish to have. I found out something shocking in the morning when i wake up. Its my sister who told me that. I keep on flipping news paper and its true. I was so distrub when I was in school. I have no mood for anything. People was trying to make a fun out of me. In normal days I will feel alright. I mean if like that can make people happy by all means. But today I feel very irritated. Even when I talk I was hoping that the person talking to me can just shut out and give me some peace. My heart was very anxious during lesson. I feel so much like just run out of the classroom and go for a long sprint. Its that kind of feeling which you are very worried about. I just wished to tell someone. And the first person I think of I don't dare to tell her. The second person I think of don't understand what the hell i talking about.
My mother think that I don't know what is happening. But I know. Everybody is acting normal but is not. I know what is happening. Now I can only pray to whatevery god that please please please let the best senario happen.
Please man. I have been a vegetarian for many many years. So please use my all these years de deeds exchange back my normal life.
AnaLoG: When there is problem and you got no one to talk to, you are a failure because you have no true friends.
posted at [8:24 AM]
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110
Hmm... Today went down to HQ NCC with 3 intention in mind. In the end I only complete 1 of them. That is to collect photograph, look through the pass GSK paper, and attend NP NCC meeting with DC. But i only collected photograph. But at least this time round when I go down to HQ is a fruitful one.
I saw Syahir there and of cos Wen Ting. Then another person join the league because he jusstarted work in HQ today. Yong Ling from 47th intake. So the 4 of us went for lunch together. Our lunch is 1hr 15min when i only eat sandwhich. We can eat until 1hr 15min manz. But before that we actually have chit chat session. We talk about why NCC is going down. Seriously is because NCC is a non- profit organization. So no one would actually care about how is it going. They just want to finish their task as the simplest and fastest way. Thats how the top people are working. So those in the lower level is as follows. They can talk only but no one is actually excuting all the things. What about CLTs? They are getting more and more like a Childcare teacher. Long Hair, Dye Hair, Vugarities, getting very close with cadets, teaching all the wrong thing, tackle female cadets, being childish and quarrel in front of cadets. etc etc.
Is the way CLTs carry themselves. CLTs from the pass are deem as professional and because of that I am actually inspired by them. I should say me and chee meng and clement are the one who is in the middle. What do i mean by that. Before NCC transit, corperal punishment is pratice everynow and then. Cadets do not dare to talk back to CLTs. After the transition, is where corperal punishment is not pratice and cadets don't even greet CLTs when they see us. Is their up bringing. I mean greeting is not a must but is a form of courtesy. You see you good friend you also greet them hi right.
CLTs are really the key to whehter how a cadet will behave. If their upbring in Part A and B is slack. When they reach part C , when they take over they will also be slack. As a result everything become slack. I actually wanted to fail those who cannot make it as a CLT and ask them to go home. Althought they are not good, they are very enthu. But those who are good is not as enthu. So in the end i didn't do that. Hopefully this batch of 53rd will not prove me wrong.
But problem still come back when the new generation take over, everything will collapse. I seriously cannot see what HQ NCC will be like by the time i enter NS which will be next year. Is like there are a lot of people out there wish to do something about it. But they don't have the power, the strength to do it. The 4 of us say actually we feel like enforcing and focus but we don't have the power because CLT is only a small fry. And beside that even if we want to enforce other CLTs will just follow the way they are being bring up.
Anybody understand ? Don't understand nvm because you dun have the same feeling as I have
Anyway while they was saying, woei luen be spec course OIC. Then I ponder. Then i decline. Becuase thinking of who are the instructors who is coming, i shake head. I don't mind being Spec course OIC if i got good people to work with. Because there is something I can do to have impact in NCC. I believe I can. Then I keep asking myself should i volunteer myself. Should I. I ask Kai Li whehter should I. She call me to go for it. This girl just make my mind rooted. Well I should not decline if I am being ask again and if there is really no one whom i think is better than me.
AnaLoG: Some people actually treat you kindness for granted and add sacarism to your kind advise. Well who cares.
posted at [8:43 AM]
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